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Healthy
Life Choices
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06107
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Holiday Blues
Don't let the crush of the season get
you down
Originally published in Mayo Clinic Health
Letter, December 1996
The holidays! They're supposed to be a time of warmth, happiness and
excitement. And for many people, they are.
But for some, the season can be a paradox. Joyous feelings and family
and religious traditions can be overshadowed by stress, fatigue and
gloom--"the blues."
It's quite normal to experience a little unhappiness or frustration
during the holidays. After all, it's an emotional and busy time of year.
The key is knowing how to respond to your feelings and having realistic
expectations.
Strains of the season
In addition to all of the gifts, goodies, decorations and events, the
holiday season can be filled with many pressures. However, contrary to
popular belief, research has failed to demonstrate that suicide
increases during the holidays.
A recent 35-year study in Olmsted County, Minn., (where Mayo Clinic
Rochester is located) found no increase in the number of suicides
before, during or after Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's or the
Fourth of July.
The holiday blues, as the name implies, tend to be temporary and
seasonal, as opposed to depression, which is longer lasting and may
require treatment. Still, the holidays can be difficult for many people.
Problems or emotions repressed during other months often tend to surface
during the holidays.
Factors that commonly contribute to the holiday blues tend to fall
into three major categories:
- Psychological--You may be facing your first holiday season
without your spouse or a loved one. This can cause great feelings of
loneliness and sadness. In addition, if you're already feeling
depressed or isolated, seeing others having a good time may make the
situation worse.
Family misunderstandings and conflict can also develop at this
time of year. You may want your entire family to gather at your
house, as they perhaps traditionally have. But they may have
different plans or want you to come to their house.
Or, there may be strained relationships between family members
that commonly cause feelings of uneasiness when everyone gets
together.
You may also expect too much from the holidays--that
picture-perfect celebration, expensive gifts or hearing from
long-lost friends--and then become disappointed when those
expectations fall short.
Financial--The holidays bring with them an
added financial burden. You may not have as much money to buy gifts or
holiday clothing this year. Or you may find you're spending more than
you can afford.
Physical--The strain of shopping,
attending social gatherings and baking holiday goodies can make you
tense or fatigued. Too much food and drink during the holidays can
also cause weight gain, which can be especially frustrating if you're
trying to lose weight.
Keeping the blues at bay
To help prevent the season's stresses from ruining your holidays,
follow these important strategies:
- Acknowledge your feelings--If you've
recently had a loss in the family or are separated from loved ones,
realize that it's normal to feel sadness and grief. It's okay now
and then to take time just to cry or express your feelings. By
repressing them, they'll only last longer.
- Seek support--Take advantage of social
support. If you're feeling isolated or down, seek out community,
religious or social services that can provide you with support and
companionship.
You might also think about volunteering at a community or
religious function. Getting involved and helping others can be a
great way to lift your spirits and make new acquaintances.
- Be realistic--As families change and
grow, traditions may need to change as well.
Hold on to those family rituals you still can--a special food or
holiday activity--but understand that some traditions, such as
everyone gathering at your house, may no longer be possible.
In addition, try not to set your expectations too high. Those
perfect holiday gatherings portrayed in pictures and the media
generally aren't representative of most families.
- Set differences aside--Try to accept
family members as they are. Leave old grievances or discussions
about differences until a more appropriate time.
- Budget-- Before you go shopping, decide
how much money you can afford to spend on gifts and other items, and
then stick to your budget. You might also consider giving gifts that
can't be bought--your time, sharing of memories, or an item you made
yourself.
Try to make the holiday season more of a family occasion and less
materialistic.
- Plan ahead--Develop a calendar of
specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other
events. Don't plan more than you can comfortably accomplish, and
schedule time for some solitude and relaxation.
If you're feeling stressed or overburdened, discuss sharing
responsibilities with other family members or friends. You might
also consider buying some food items instead of making them all
yourself.
- Don't abandon healthful habits--Don't
feel pressured to eat or drink more than you're accustomed to just
because it's the holiday season.
Before attending social events, decide how much and what types of
foods and beverages you should consume.
Get plenty of sleep and, if you're healthy, schedule time for
exercise. Not only will exercise help fend off extra pounds, it will
make you feel more refreshed and less fatigued.
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